Est. by the Wobblepots family · Small-batch & handmade
Handcrafted bath & body concoctions.
Mostly safe. Thoroughly tested on Bimble.
“No gnomes were harmed. One was mildly fizzed.” — Lab safety log
The Apothecary Shelf
Every batch is mixed by hand by Blessica, our Head Alchemist. Bimble supervises from a safe distance, usually mid-lecture and occasionally asking whose lab this is.
⚙ Preview shelf: prices and photos are coming soon, and checkout isn't open yet.
Specimen No. 001 · Soothing Balm
A gentle, calming balm for skin that's had a rough adventure. Blessica's personal recipe. Keep away from Bimble; he keeps forgetting it isn't pudding.
✎ Batch #12: calm skin, calmer husband
Specimen No. 002 · Bath Bomb
Drop it in, sink down, restore your hit points. Fizzes a cheerful crimson and smells like a nap.
✎ Restores 100% of morale (est.)
Specimen No. 003 · Mustache Wax
Holds a curl through snowstorms, small explosions, and a ninety-minute frost lecture nobody requested. Lab-certified on one very large mustache.
✎ Tested on: 1 mustache. He forgot, so we tested it again.
Specimen No. 004 · Bubble Bath
Mountains of bubbles for a soak so relaxing you'll forget what you were worried about. Bimble forgot his shoes, his book, and why he came in. Zero regrets.
✎ Bimble's review: “Ten stars. Have I reviewed this before?”
Specimen No. 005 · Charcoal Scrub
Activated charcoal scrub that buffs away grime, gloom, and minor curses. Mr. Snuggles approves (he growled less).
✎ Mildly sinister. Very smooth.
Specimen No. 006 · Hand Salve
Rich, nourishing salve for hands that work hard, scrub cauldrons, or pet small grumpy imps.
✎ Imp-tested. Imp-approved. Imp-bitten.
Specimen No. 007 · Body Spray
A light, refreshing spritz for when your energy meter is running low. Spray, sparkle, carry on.
✎ Restores mana. Probably. Smells nice regardless.
Specimen No. 008 · Fizzy Bath Bomb
A golden fizzing shield of calm. Hop in the tub and become briefly invulnerable to the outside world.
✎ Blessica's signature fizz
Lab Personnel File
Head Alchemist
Dwarf, holy warrior, and the only person in this lab who reads the instructions. Blessica actually makes everything on the shelf: every balm, bomb, and bubble, by hand, in small batches. She blesses each jar. She also confiscates Bimble's spoons.
Specialty Soothing things & smiting mess
Self-appointed Lab Director
Gnome frost mage and sarcastic genius. Since the Mechanostrider Incident at age ten (it did backflip, once), his memory skips like a worn cog, but his intellect is fully intact, as he'll gladly explain. He contributes theories, corrections nobody asked for, and occasionally forgets which jar is which. Introduces himself to Blessica most mornings. She plays along.
Specialty Sarcasm, frost magic & misplacing things
Quality Control
Bimble's sister, a dabbler in the darker arts, and our strictest inspector. Her assistant, a small imp named Mr. Snuggles, personally tests every scrub. If he stops growling, it ships.
Specialty Charcoal, curses & imp wrangling
Lab Notes · Entry No. 47
Day 47 (I think). Blessica made forty bath bombs. I “helped.” Thirty-nine survived. The fortieth is now part of the ceiling.— B.W.
Follow the Wobblepots family's fantasy adventures, kitchen-table science, and questionable decisions on our comedy roleplay show, Real Housewife of Wobblepots.
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